I was convinced that my boyfrind had gone away for a few days with his ex. I snooped all the evidence led me to same conclusion. He has made me feel very insecure about his long term ex eg. she doesn’t know about me, he avoids places she frequents, he still has pictures of her on his pc in a rotating slide show at home. To his credit he says he loves me and spends most of his spare time with me
However i did the unthinkable on the weekend asked a male friend to call her house and ask for him – that’s where i got caught he pretended to be his best friend (HOW STUPID OF ME and out of character) It turns out they weren’t away together.
Now my boyfriend is really angry with me and won’t talk to me (and rightly so). i have sent a couple of sms stating how in the wrong i was and that i was in a desperate situation and i panicked…he sent me an sms please don’t worry..
I am not sure how to handle the situation when we get together to talk. i want to save this relationship
it was obvious his best friend wouldn’t call his ex girflriend – he obviously asked him if he called and he said no.
basically he said he was going away for work and when i called his office to get his mobil as i had left mine at home they tolf me he was on leave – i then snooped to find his ex’s work and home phones – she was also away on leave for the same days. that’s what led me to the stupid conclusion they were together i freaked
Originally posted 2009-03-27 08:51:50.
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
If I’m sorry isn’t good enough for him, let him go. You also need to trust a bit more.
He pretended to be his best friend….and how did that make you get caught? Why was he pretending to be his best friend?
Obviously, you distrust him…and if he’s pretending to be other people in regards to you…then he doesn’t trust you either. It really doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship to being with. What’s to save?
give him enough time to think. you’ll irate him more if you’d continue to bug him to forgive you. and please, give him some trust. in as much as we want to be secure with our partners, we should give them privacy sometimes. it’s up to them whether they would ruin the trust that we’re giving them.
Firstly, it looks like he hasn’t completely let go of her anyways, in his head as he has pictures of her at home that he doesn’t get rid of. Secondly, you need to quit trying to grab ahold of him so tightly. The best thing you can do is tell h im you would like to rethink the relationship, and become a stronger person, and then set some boundaries. Tell him that he makes you feel like you still like this other girl with the pictures still on his computer or whereever they are, and that you feel like he still likes her or is attached to her. If he is not he will get rid of the pictures as they make you feel insecure. Tell him how insecure he is making you feel. If he thinks its stupid, then make some space between him and you, and see if he comes toward you, and understands you, and does something for you out of love. Otherwise, you are going to keep getting jealous, and having problems. Also, you are to suspicious, and clingy. Don’t you realize that you aren’t married and he can make his own decisions, just as you can? You need to back off of him, and let him be his own self, and you need to be your own self. Otherwise you will continue to mistrust any guy you come in contact with.
You need to trust him if you want the relationship to work. And the only way you can do this, is to you trust yourself first.
Easy… tell him ur concerns n’ the truth